I would like to begin this post with a quick experiment. Imagine you have just visited your friend in Australia and are now on your way to the airport for the flight back home. Your Australian friend kindly offers to give you a lift there. Would you decline the offer - perhaps to save him/her the trouble? Or would you accept it?
If you had declined the offer, you just might have offended your friend without even realising it. Here’s a recount of how I came to know about this particular aspect of the Australian culture:
When I was visiting my brother in Sydney last year, I got to meet his landlord’s family. We got along very well and the trip was a pleasant one. On the day of my flight back to Singapore, my brother and I had just finished dragging my bag out into the hallway in preparation to leave for the airport when the landlord dropped by. He offered to give me a lift to the airport. However, I felt it to be troublesome for him and quoted this as a reason while politely declining the offer. He made the offer again, but this time, my brother accepted it for me before I could decline.
After the landlord left, my brother explained to me that, in Australia, people might be offended if we declined such offers. This was because part of their culture is in helping out their friends and family in ways like these. Declining their offers would appear as if we were not accepting their friendship and kindness. This was new to me as, in Singapore, we decline such offers simply because we do not want to inconvenience our friends and family. It has been hardwired into us. However, the same gesture is interpreted in a different way in Australia, thereby showing a difference between the two cultures.
I was lucky my brother was there to smooth things over before I risked offending the landlord.
Hi Puva! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteIf I were you, I would probably have rejected the offer too! Typical Singaporeans! Luckily your brother knew a bit about the Australian culture, if not probably it would be not of a nice ending. Perhaps one should learn to adapt to situation quickly. For example, if someone keeps offering even though you keep declining, then its probably good if you could accept the offer so that this "offering and declining" would not go on and on. You could decline, but only if you are of close relationship with that offerer? Maybe good friends?
Hi Puva,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing. Different countries have their unique culture, but what you shared is really something special. I would also reject the landlord’s offer if I were you too. Even sometimes I take a coach back to Malaysia, I would not want to trouble my family to pick me up as they maybe busying with other things.
Usually, it needs sometime to adapt to a new environment and native culture. So, it is good to have a close friend who is familiar with the country beside you to help.
Hello Charmian and Jing Yuan!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments.
Charmian: Indeed, one should learn to adapt quickly to their surroundings. Mainly so that you do not end up offending someone or getting into trouble! I am not sure whether we should still decline the offer if the person offering it is a good friend. Since it is a part of their culture, we should probably just accept the offer. But that is just my opinion. What do you think?
Jing Yuan: Yes, it is good to have someone who is familiar with the country beside you. It makes it easier for us to adapt to our surroundings. And since they are familiar with the culture there, we could clarify any doubts we have on matters such as how people there interact with each other.
Hey Puva!
ReplyDeleteWow, we learn something new every day :D I'll keep that in mind if I ever visit Australia. Your post actually made me wonder if the other party knows what kind of mentality is "hardwired" into us. If the landlord had known, he may have informed you that you should not decline such offers if you regard him as a friend.
It should go both ways, don't you think?
Hello Rina!
ReplyDeleteYes I think so too. It would have been better if he had informed me about it. In the world of travel, the traveler teaches and learns at the same time, non? (:
Hi Puva，
ReplyDeleteI know this comment came late, but haha, here goes~
I was also very "keen" on rejecting other people's help as I think that will create burden for them. Maybe your brother should tell his Australian friend why you actually declined his offer the first time (going to decline again but stopped, haha!) so that he would have a better understanding of Asian culture also. He need to know that we sometimes couldn't help declining offers~ It's just part of the Asian culture to be courteous and understanding in that way.